The Cycle of Co-Dependency

Good Afternoon Everyone,

I am sorry I did not get this posted yesterday as I have been doing, but here we are. for those of you who are checking us out and visiting us today welcome. We are doing a weekly series called "Identifying and Breaking Unhealthy Life Cycles". we just finished lesson 4 and today we will begin with lesson 5 "the cycle of co-dependency".  lets get started....

Co-Dependency is a common problem and it can be difficult to break but not impossible. We will be exploring the "how" and "why" we become co-dependent on others and what we can do to do break this pattern. 

                                                 The Root Cause of Co-Dependency

 Co-Dependency a Major Dysfunction! What is happening to our families today? Many families today are experiencing dryness in the area of healthy nurturing. Co-dependency is the direct result of a lack of healthy nurturing.

A Co-Dependent person is one who is trapped within a compulsive cycle of control.

Note:  A co-dependent person is easily drawn into the pain and problems of others.

 

What is co-dependency?   It is an obsessive need for attention, affection and affirmation (lack of nurture) as a direct result of neglect, protection and appreciation in childhood.

A co-dependent person

 ◘        Is usually an over-achiever who is motivated by their desire to be loved.  Most often they have experienced major rejection during their childhood years. In many cases, there have been situations where abuse has been present verbal, physical or sexual.

 

  ◘       Has been subjected to major rejection in early childhood.  When rejection has occurred in childhood the stage has been set early on to easily depend on others for our needs.

 Because of a deep need to feel safe and secure (which are some of the issues with co-dependency), they can easily fall into bad relationships if they feel like they are getting the attention they need from that person. But what we see on the surface may not always be the real deal and we can end up falling into traps that are harmful to us in the long run.

◘        Needs the approval of others.  Beneath the layer of co-dependency is a person who is very insecure. It is important for that person to know that others approve of them and what they are doing. There is a great need to attention. This sets the stage for people pleasing at any cost.

 

 ◘          Is unable to set clear and proper boundaries for themselves and for others.   The person who is co-dependent is also insecure and insecure people look to others to keep them safe and secure instead of trying to do that for themselves. They say “yes” when they mean “no” because of their need for approval and acceptance.

The person who is co-dependent is also insecure and insecure people look to others to keep them safe and secure instead of trying to do that for themselves. They say “yes” when they mean “no” because of their need for approval and acceptance.

        Will appear submissive in order to gain control.  Control is the major issue for the co-dependent person. It is difficult for a co-dependent person to have a relationship or friendship that they cannot control. Control is essential because of the person’s insecurity.

 ◘.       Feels the responsibility to solve other people’s problems. A co-dependent person needs to ‘be needed and wanted’. It’s good to help others as often as we can but for a co-dependent person, solving other people’s problems can sometimes be a good escape from having to deal with their own problems and issues.

 ◘.       Blames others for their own problems, unhappiness, failures and losses.   A co-dependent person has difficulty facing up to reality and responsibilities. It is easier to blame others for their circumstances and problems.

◘.         Has a deep need to be rescued from their inner loneliness and emptiness.   A co-dependent person has been deprived of nurture and meaningful connection as a child creating an inner loneliness and emptiness that never seems to go away. The quest becomes looking for someone to fill the empty void. 

 ◘        Has difficulty with deep relationships.  Meaningful lasting relationships need time and input for them to grow and mature. A Co- dependent person likes to keep things on the surface and not go to deep.

  

 We will end here and continue next monday with "the set up for co-dependency". I hope this is helpful and please pass onto your friends if you desire. if you have any questions you can email me at deejohnston1@live.com . thanks for following this blog and i hope you enjoy this series.

Blessings, Dee

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

▪        Has been subjected to major rejection in early childhood.

 

 When rejection has occurred in childhood the stage has been set early on to easily depend on others for our needs.

 

Because of a deep need to feel safe and secure (which are some of the issues with co-dependency), they can easily fall into bad relationships if they feel like they are getting the attention they need from that person. But what we see on the surface may not always be the real deal and we can end up falling into traps that are harmful to us in the long run.